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"An otter for an otter makes the whole world have otters" -Gandhi
not really but hey "wotter you gonna do"
OTTER PHENOMENON
After a mere 20 minutes online we already have a fan base reaching from Alaska to Mainland America, Sweden to Australia. Its catching on fast.
A Midsummer Night's Otter
Since the dawn of time people and otters have lived in harmony, each contributing to the vast global society we can now proudly say we are a part of. But the delicate balance has been distrupted; otters now grow to greedy and are threatening our very way of life.
One eyewitness has said to reporters "It was madness. I saw an otter bite off a persons head."
All such sightings are unconfirmed, are authorities suggesting that unnecessary travel be kept to a minimum.
It is this global panic that we now bring to you, in blog form.
William Otterspeare
All the world's an otter,
And all the men and women merely otters:
They have their paws and their noses;
And one otter in his time makes many burrows,
His acts being seven species. At first the European otter,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
And then the hairy-nosed otter, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like badger
Unwillingly to school. And then the Spotty-necked otter,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his badger's eyebrow. Then a neotropical river otter,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the wolverine,
Jealous in river, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking to murder people
Even with the cannon's mouth. And then the polecat,
To be fair not an otter but a member of the family mind,
With eyes severe and beard of otter cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his otter. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd Oriental small-clawed otter,
With fur on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward a more otter sounding voice, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness of the smooth-coated otter,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything, roadkill. Poor otter.
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